Things I Try Not To Say As A Mum
Being a parent is seriously the most effective personal development course I think I've ever taken! It's caused me to really reflect and become conscious of my words. I believe that the way we speak to our children when they are young forms the basis of their own inner dialogue as they grow.
So as Max grows, inevitably we have started to become aware of repeating patterns in the way we speak to and around him. These are just some of the things we try our hardest to avoid or use sparingly.
This is one is probably the hardest. Watching your baby crawl, walk, run, climb is emotionally hard work! Max is a little daredevil and I feel like he's constantly moments away from a major stack. The other day I was about to tell him to be careful as he balanced on the seat of a trike with his hands in the air, shouting 'raaawwwwwrr'. I needn't have worried as he easily bent down to hold on when he wanted to get down. Other times when he has taken a fall, he will usually get back up and dust himself off without even really registering what's happened. I wait the few moments to see what his reaction will be.
Life at toddler pace is incredibly slow. They are so absorbed in the moment while also being easily distracted. They do need the time to learn and explore though, so whenever possible, I try not to rush Max too much. So what if our 10-minute walk takes 45 minutes. Most times we aren't really in a rush to get back to anything! I love his inquisitive nature and it's nice to give him the space to engage with his environment as much as possible.
Now, don't get me wrong, I am more than happy to apologise when I'm in the wrong or have made a mistake. However, I try not to say sorry when I don't need to. For example, you'll hopefully never hear me say 'sorry for my appearance today...' in one of my videos. Or sorry to someone who actually got in my way - something I am so prone to do but I think it's important not to apologise for our existence. I want to model self-respect and equality.
You Can't Do That
This is probably pretty related to be careful but for situations that are a little less risky. I don't want Max to feel shy about himself so I'm conscious of being overly corrective of his behaviour - for example if he's singing or doing his signature 'raaawwwwwrr' (see above!) while he's in the trolley with me doing the groceries, I won't always tell him to be quiet. If we're at a big park area and he's wandering off, I'll let him wander fairly far before calling him back. There are of course certain situations where it's important to have good manners or be respectful but for the most part, I try to just let him be little.
I'm sure there are many other examples of ways we try to be a little conscious of our language but these are the main ones floating around for us at the moment. Thinking about my own list, it seems like my priority as a parent is to raise thoughtful, confident and inquisitive youngsters and I would say that is totally right.
What examples of words, phrases or themes have you tried to nix from your vocabulary around the kids?